I’ve been raised to believe in my instincts. That initial reaction in your body that quietly whispers the right answer. That little voice that tells you to quit your job and move across the country, or that gut reaction that a boy is most definitely wrong for you.
Throughout my life, rarely has that gut reaction, or that little voice been loud enough to provide me with exact clarity. Instead, I generally hear a quiet whisper, whose presence I can recognize, but conveniently “forget” to listen to. It’s either because of the quietness of the voice, or because it’s saying something I’m not ready to hear, that I’ve smothered it to the back of my mind, or ignored it all together. That is, until the day when ignoring it is no longer possible.
(That’s the beauty in the voice; it never really goes away. Even if you “can’t” hear it, it will be there helping you until you make the choice that best suits you.)
I recently had an experience where the voice spoke its words loud and clear. I cannot pinpoint the exact words it was saying, but it was an unbelievable experience to hear it so prominent inside me. As it was such a foreign feeling, listening to it made every ounce of my body fearful. I was terrified of what this decision amounted to and instantaneously I deeply mourned what I knew I needed to walk away from.
Truthfully, as the decision is still fresh, I’m still mourning what I am saying no to in order to say yes to the voice. Many things have happened, have been said and have brought me to doubt what the voice is telling me. Most people are supportive which brings a larger sense of confidence to the decision, but there are the ones that make me doubt my decision. Sometimes I go there, I allow those people to get inside me and instill that fear of change. But ultimately, I’m realizing how beautiful it is to have that voice speak so loud and clear. Maybe its not that its even being loud and clear and its more that I’ve chosen to listen intently to what it has to say. Either way, I hear what my gut is saying. I know that my body feels good with this path the voice is telling me to go down, fear accepting and all.
I hope this experience gives me more confidence in my voice for future decisions, and I hope I am able to listen more intently to what it has to say because I believe strongly that our intuition speaks to us. When we are torn between decisions in life, listening to it speak can really help bring clarity to the most difficult decisions.